hoppen in the sac too quick ? good Idea : bad idea

just going to start writing. Spent the night with the family. Ate a little too much, felt rushed when I left but I didn't want to stay there all night. Wanted an early night as i'm running aging tomorrow: 2 hours ...half marathon training.


I have this habit of not falling asleep untill midnight. Not feeling tired at the moment...well maybe a little. I'm feeling like I should write about something.

I joined a kind of dating club: 4plus4. a Dinner club really. been out for 2 dinners so far. observations:

lots of people seem quite socially inept. The come across that way. They seem impolite, don't know how to converse with strangers.

I'm beeing matched with people that are my own age (42 at the moment) and they seem old: divorced, kids (in their 20's), mortgage, car, average golf game. I just don't relate to them in the same way. I don't own a car or TV and have no interest in either. I 'should' be in the same place as them by now but i'm not. They are different from me. doesn't mean I can't find someone i'm interested in. so for that's not the case. I think i'd be more comfortable with someone younger who has not had that part of their life yet.

I've dated a couple of gals. I get a sense that their only too willing to hop in the sac without really getting to know me at all. Am I being to cautious? am I thinking about this shit too much. Well, It's how i'm choosing to do it now. Problem is when it comes to sex/getting physical I have a hard time initially. I know I want to, and it could be good but it likely can be that way with anyone. And it could lead to a realationship I don't want. some times I do think: man Trish should just have been the gal I was involved with, lived with and I never should have married her. She didn't seem that into me. hind-site is 20-20: I didn't trust my intuition.

people seem to hope into the sac too quickly. That's how I feel. I also think I have a hard time asking the real important questions and go on assumption or my own imagination.

for now my plan is to meet people, practice getting to know them, try asking the hard questions, play music, run, work, eat and sleep.

das it for now.