NO!

There was a gal I was involved with in a fucked up way -- I was her substitute boy friend while her real boyfriend was away flying helicopters in northern BC. She was always in the friends box for me...people talked, assumed. She made overtures. I played dumb. Time passed, more time together, dangerous crawling into various beds. After she told me it was over with her and her man we got involved.


She lied. She hadn't broken up with him. She had failed to tell any of her friends including her best friend? I got the sense that he has all her friends on strings, and she doesn't actually like her friends. She tolerates their company until she tires of them. She was also seeing someone else the time we were inolved. Everyone who saw us together emphatically stated how 'pefect we are for eachother' She was a perfect manipulator and my esteem was low and I let her. She went to Spain, got engaged to her boy friend, I ended it. told her no contact. Everythig's going her way and i'm happy for her. I'm not angry, not trying to punish her or prove anything. That relationship is simply of no use to me other that what I learned from the experience. Apparently they've broken up again. he's moved out. our mutual friend, my friend tells me she's carrying a fucking torch for me? I'm not going to get involved: she lied, she's a manipulator, I don't trust her, she charmed my friends, I'd be going backwards in my personal development. I don't want to go back to drinking botles of wine til 4 in the morning, not sleeping in bed and getting up at 7 so I can go to work or go for a run. I have a choice in the matter. Even if my reasons are invalid or can be argued away. I don't have to do it. NO!